Someone died...

The guy's dead.

We tried to save him, yet in the end it wasn't enough.

Never in my life as a medic have I expected someone who has been sent to my medical centre to die. All I wished for in my NS life is having a boring time and ORDing in peace, but that has unfortunately eluded me, for I will remember this time of my NS life forever. You have seen news of other people dying elsewhere in the SAF, but it never quite has the same impact as when you have experienced it first hand of seeing a young man alive one moment and then learning that he is already dead the next. Really puts life in perspective.

It was on this Wednesday evening, when the guys and me who were on duty were chilling out around the emergency room when we received a call that a patient suffering from fits. What is the condition of the patient? What are his parameters? The medic has no answer to these most basic questions, with the patient apparently being sent directly from his company line. Well, no big deal we thought, for fits cases were all too common and none overly serious. Little could we realise the surprise we are in for.

When the patient arrive, we found that the patient, despite being so long on the road has not yet stop his fits. Furthermore, we got rude shock when we saw 2 pens in the patients mouth with blood all over it. Clearly this is going to be a long night.

The rest of the time we were trying to resuscitate the guy was a blur of activities and I'm not exactly sure of what is happening. One moment I was trying to take the guys parameters, the next I was helping Eugene to look for the suction catheter, and then I was told to get ready the ambulance. During the time, I was constantly trying to do something, for I readily admit that I felt fear for the guy's life. Open the E trolley. Get ready for intubation... And Kam San thankfully was around to prepare the things. Suck out the blood.. And Gary was there to suck out the blood with Eugene. Look at his parameters! Force open his mouth, press down on the Adam's Apple.. Harder! The MO, Dr Ho managed to intubate him. Go sercure the tube.. Continue bagging him... And in this whole mess of events finally come to a reasonable end (at least for me and the guys behind) when the doors of the ambulance closed and we are on the way to hospital.

Not for Gary, Hafiz and Dr Ho though. From their descriptions, the scene at the hospital was quite chaotic as well, and I learned that the parents were very distraught when they learned of their son's condition. Who could blame them. The mother I heard was crying her guts out, and who wouldn't sympathise with her? The father bravely thanked those that had tried their best to save their son, and deserves my admiration and empathy. The worse thing though is that despite our efforts, their son did not make it.

I have always believed that when it is your time to go, it's your time to go. But nothing could have prepared me to face this situation and the reality that a young man has died. I was angry that the guys and I could have done better. I was worried that the guy would really die that night. I was clinging on to the hope that there might be a miracle that the guy survived despite being told that he is unlikely to make it. The doctors may have readily accepted death, but for an NSF like me, the experience was terrifying.

From this though, I did learn many new things about how to handle a real life emergency case. My medical training? It almost when for naught, especially in this real life situation. My mind almost went blank. The only way to truly learn is to experienced it firsthand. When they tell you that the medical Corp is the only aspect of the SAF not playing games but dealing with life and death, I advice all future medics to take those words to heart.

Exhausted, I collasped into bed after I went home. But the incident left an imprint in my mind. In this most lifelike dream I saw someone jump off a building. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. Nothing.

Helpless.

Quote of the day

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)